Pet Blessing Pandemic Pandemonium:
Are We Facing a Canine Cancellation?
The 27th Annual Our Savior Pet Blessing may be on temporary hold this year due to a severe outbreak of rabies. It seems that a significant percentage of the dog population is protesting the rabies vaccination amid rumors of Siamese lab workers injecting the vaccine with feline DNA. These protesting pooches insist that the rabies vaccine caused them to start chasing balls of yarn and drinking out of toilets. They claim the vaccine has not been thoroughly tested since it’s only been used since the death of Old Yeller. Besides that, dogs claim they’ve reached herd immunity from rabies anyway and no longer need any vaccine. In addition, the rabies vaccine may have magnetized their dog tags, permanently bonding them to the metal clasps of dog leashes.
Despite the fervent pleas of veterinarians, many dogs continue boycotting the vaccine, exposing themselves and their puppies to radical rabies variants. Further exacerbating the outbreak, dogs are refusing to wear their collars, insisting that collars infringe on their individual rights. “My freedom is severely restricted by wearing a collar,” whined one German Shepherd, adding that “it’s my body and my choice.” Area dog parks are becoming rabies hot spots, leading to overcrowded veterinary clinics and labor shortages in animal hospitals. Further compounding the pandemic are dubious claims that rabies can be cured by ingesting cat de-wormer and raiding the litter box for a late-night snack.
All these practices are only increasing the burden borne by exhausted veterinary health care workers. With our pet blessing hanging in the balance, you can help. If you encounter a recalcitrant canine anti-vaccer, offer them a treat and encourage them in reassuring tones to get the vaccine, wear their collars, and maintain at least six feet when sniffing other dogs
(Breaking News: The Pet Blessing is back on for October 3 at 5:30 PM in the Backyard of the Bethlehem House. If Covid conditions remain the same, we will observe necessary precautions. Dogs and humans must refrain from nipping and name-calling, biting and bullying. For the safety of everyone concerned, all humans will be on a short leash.)
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